Baby vamp vs Big Momma

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So, this week is a CRAZY Bon Temps week in the True Blood Twitter-verse. Especially for me and @MaxineFortBT. If baby vamp is mean to you this week, don’t take it personal. Just picture me bein’ hit on the head by a Wii remote while bein’ called a ‘devil slut’ several times over… y’all will get why I’m a touch irritated.

So while I’m drainin’ Momma Fortenberry and her several chins, I’d like to get some ideas about what YOU would do to the wicked meanie Mrs Fortenberry. Maybe you’d like to slap her ’round the head with some red shoes? The best answers might even be played out on twitter this week.*winks*

So comment here or tweet me (@JessicaHamby).

*baby vamp growls*

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Uh oh, the fangs are out Momma Fortenberry…

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Uh oh, watch out for the tuna cheese casserole!

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So, when she’s not disconnecting her son’s phone, she’s got a recipe blog.

Check out The Daily Dish

True Blood on Twitter Thursday Images!

Well, I had a heap of fun tonight with @HoytFortenberry and @MaxineFortBT! We used a lot of visual aids tonight. Here are mine…

Click for larger

doodle_jessicafort

doodle_jhhearthf

doodle_scrapbooking

hj_love

hoytybearhorse

jessprincess

billbarren

dragonlady

DGD Ball Pictures

DGD-eric

Eric Northman lookin' dashing as ever

DGD-maxPI

Maxine Fortenberry... complete with poison ivy rash

Bill 'daddy' Compton

Bill 'daddy' Compton in his old suit

Sookie Stackhouse doin' a Scarlett O'Hara

Sookie Stackhouse doin' a Scarlett O'Hara

Lafayette doin' a... Lafayette

Lafayette doin' a... Lafayette

And then there was me in a frilly ball of lace. Ugh.

And then there was me in a frilly ball of lace. Ugh.

Odd Sorta Night (Re-Post)

What a night. Insane is the word I’d use to describe it.

It started out okay. I’m fillin’ in for Sookie while she’s outta town with my boss, Eric, so I was workin’ Merlottes with Tara and Holly. Everythin’ was goin’ okay until the frat boys from Ruston started causin’ trouble but we handled ’em. Think they got a bit frightened when they realised they were up against two seasoned fangbanger kickin’ vamps and two very pissed off humans. I think it was Francisco who called us the Bad Ass Bon Temps Girls. Hoyt was there so I had my own personal fun tellin’ him ’bout the ‘specials’… but then his momma came in for a visit. Now, Maxine is a great lady but she sure can be blunt! Started askin’ Hoyt ’bout his intentions with me and whether we were bein’ ‘safe’. Someone didn’t tell her I couldn’t get knocked up, I guess. There was a little girl in the bar tonight makin’ play fangs at me… got me all sad. Hoyt ended up drinkin’ five shots of tequila and lickin’ the salt off my wrist (VERY fun, I might add) but he was most certainly toasted.

I drove Hoyt home after cleanin’ up the bar (we had to sweep ’round Hoyt since he was admirin’ the floor again) and we made it up to bed. Then I heard somethin’ approach outside. It wasn’t good at all – a maenad. She wanted a ‘tribute’ – which of course involved my very drunk Hoyt. There was no way that bitch was gettin’ her hands on my boy. There was no tellin’ what she would do to him. She warned me not to be smart with her. I got her to back off but she left me with a warnin’ for Bill that she would return and a huge scratch down my arm. It wasn’t like other scratches I’ve had before – it wouldn’t stop bleedin’ right away – and I was gettin’ real dizzy and weak. I guess that was part of her poison. I collapsed on the porch leavin’ Hoyt to get me when she was finally gone. Hoyt saw that I wasn’t lookin’ too good and offered his blood to fix me up. I’m so glad the Maenad left and didn’t hurt either Hoyt or Shan. And I’m lucky to have scraped through with just this scratch on my arm. Stings like the bitch that gave it to me. I can’t understand why it’s not healin’ up as fast as it should be. In fact, it should be pretty much gone by now but it’s still painful and still barely scabbed over.

Bitch is gonna pay for that.